I learned this from my own experience with my friend Nick. He was always bright and confident, but month by month he started to move away. Our calls became shorter, jokes felt forced, and the gap between us grew.
I really wanted to understand what was going on, and I think I found a way! My psychologist told me that I should let my friend know he is needed by his friends and family. Maybe he was feeling depressed because of low self-esteem.
I started to read about this topic and found a website that lets you know what people around you think about you. At first, I was skeptical, but I decided to try. I had to take a test and send a link to my friends so they could give feedback about me.
How it all went and what happened next – I’ll tell you later. The result will surprise you!
Johari Window – a website to learn what people think about you
Nick and I tried a tiny online tool together. I sent him a link, he picked traits for himself, and I picked traits for him. What came back looked like a small map of strengths and blind spots. It became the reason for our first honest talk in months.
That evening he said it was the first time he saw that a close person like me still thought he was kind, funny, and reliable.
A friend’s story that became my routine
I started using the same process every 3 months. It helps me not to fall into depression and to stay confident and happy. Nick’s mood also got better, because he understood that he doesn’t need to “sink” in his own thoughts about how bad things are. He just needs to listen to close people to get support.
He saw that he is still the life of the party and that friends love and value him. Our friendship became stronger because I stopped guessing what the problem was. We talked a lot about ourselves, about friendship, and about how people treat each other – and it worked.
What is the johari window
It is a simple website with tests: you choose traits of your personality for yourself and invite other people to choose traits for you. The overlap shows what everyone knows, and the gaps – what you can improve. If you ever asked yourself “how to know what others think about you”, the Johari Window is a clear tool that turns opinions into useful data.
Of course, we can talk about exploring your goals and vision for the future, but that is for later. It is better to start with the Johari Window to take the first steps to understanding yourself.
When it can be useful
- You feel stuck in a creative block, even though tasks look easy.
- You are swamped by negative feedback at work or online and cannot sort signal from noise.
- You wonder how to get out of depression funk and need a small step that does not feel heavy.
- You replay mistakes and ask how to stop feeling bad about something you did for the hundredth time.
Step by step: run your first window
- Open the site and pick a short list of traits that fit you today. It is a short “exercise”, not an exam, so don’t worry.
- Create your private link and share it with 3 to 10 people you trust. Start with the closest people.
- As responses arrive, you will see a clean board with clusters and overlaps plus a short johari window explanation.
- Compare your picks with theirs and note the biggest gaps first.
- Save a sample of johari window results so you can compare next month or next quarter.
- Share an example of a johari window with someone new and invite one more honest voice.
Why and how it works
Positive vs negative feedback
Most of us notice only negative feedback about our actions and behavior, but we often miss the most important thing – what people really think about us. Here, instead of random examples of negative feedback, you get input from people who actually know you. This helps improve self-esteem and understand how to believe in yourself through real feedback, not just your guesses.
- Use it together with simple self-esteem exercises when you need something clear but without judgment.
- The answers to the test become a mirror that often shows many positive and good qualities you have, which can lift your confidence for a long time.
- Over time, it also helps you learn how to believe in yourself without waiting for perfect results.
- Many users say, judging by reviews on the site, that it is also a way to get to know yourself through the eyes of a work team or business partner. But it’s better to start with relatives and close friends.
That’s exactly what happened with me and my friend Kolya. We went through all the feedback from our close ones, realized how much we mean to them, and were surprised by many positive comments from friends. But we also saw what we could change in our attitude toward life and found new points for growth. Honestly, I became happier, and Nick seemed like a new person – cheerful and curious again. From a withdrawn person, he became more social and believed in himself. It feels like this test should be taken by everyone to get feedback about themselves from others and to bring back interest in life.
Other ways to use the Johari Window
- Personal reset after a rough quarter at work.
- Rebuilding creative energy before a new project.
- Tuning a team’s handoff and meeting habits.
- Checking communication style in a new relationship.
My observations during the year
Every 3 months I repeat the process. I keep the old boards and compare them. When stress spikes, I look at my “open traits” to remember who I really am. That is often how to get confidence back before a big meeting or hard call. Nick does the same and still jokes that other people know him better than he knows himself.
This topic addresses the process of assessing your unique strengths, skills, and personality characteristics to gain a clearer sense of your identity.
What questions did my friends ask me when I told them about the Johari Window?
Q: How to Identify Personal Values and Passions?
A: There is the importance of recognizing your core values and passions to better understand what motivates and fulfills you. This topic we can speak about: cultural identity, external rewards, future self, goal setting, human motivation, identity, internal rewards, life purpose, personal values, probing questions, self-esteem.
Q: Will people see my private picks?
A: You control the link. Share it only with people you trust and keep your copy for future checks.
Q: Johari Window is a start for Self-Care and Personal Growth, can we say this?
A: Maybe, yes. But this topic explores the role of self-care and ongoing personal development in the journey of knowing yourself. Johari Window is used more as a tool to know yourself through other people’s opinion of you.
Q: How many people should I invite?
A: Start with 3 to 5. Add more later if you want a wider view without noise.
Q: Is Johari Window Similar to Self-Reflection and Self-Awareness
A: As far as I know, this topic explores practices and strategies for increasing self-awareness, such as mindful reflection, journaling, and evaluating one’s current thoughts and behaviors. This is a different topic altogether, unrelated to Johari’s window
Q: Is it therapy or a diagnosis?
A: No. It is a short reflection tool. If you need clinical help, please talk to a professional.
Q: Is there any information on the website about Letting Go of External Expectations
A: Unfortunately, no, because that’s a whole other topic, it’s dealing with how to manage and release societal or external expectations in order to focus on authentic self-discovery. The technique here is to get feedback about yourself from others to help boost your self-esteem and find points of growth.
Final thoughts
Quick feedback from our close ones and friends often helps us get back on track, lift our spirits, and believe in ourselves again – even without psychologists. The Johari Window helps you see progress, rebuild friendships, or strengthen your team at work. When life changes or feels sad, always remember this simple but reliable way to remind yourself who you really are.
Do not forget that you are the most important person in your life, take care of yourself and strive to make your life better, and the Johari window will definitely help you in this!